[kenfuzed]

ARrrrrrrr, Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Yes, this is an actual holiday. A few years back a couple of guys joking around started it and now it appears on many calendars, and even sites like Yahoo post it on their home page. In my are there are actually bars that open early today and have day long drinking parties. Of course it's an easy date for me to remember since it falls each year on my birthday. Guess that makes me the Talk Like a Pirate poster child

Considering that many "official" holidays are nothing more than the invention of greeting card companies, it makes perfect sense to celebrate something so ridiculous as talking like a pirate.

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some rum.
The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

[ironhorse]

arr, me haven a swig of the rum for ya cappn, honor of ye gettn older

[Hot01]

Arr, I've just wasted 30 minutes o' me day Googling "Talk Like a Pirate Day."

Have a great birthday, Matey!

[fxdxsteve]

derek john and chuck u farley present the south seas saga buggery on the high seas

argh tie that scurvy dog to the yardarm

oh rip the shirt how cliche'

[bikerjim1]

Ya'll er' funny......

[mwelych]

The dude who discovered Argon (Ar- a noble gas from group 18), was so infatuated with pirates, he said "Arrrr"!!! See pirates knew their chemistry too!!!

[chucktx]

first i heard of it was on the radio this am.......nothing like a holiday for stirrin up a bit of drinking!!!!!

and ken.....

[voodoochild]

Originally Posted by fxdxsteve

derek john and chuck u farley present the south seas saga buggery on the high seas

argh tie that scurvy dog to the yardarm

oh rip the shirt how cliche'

To finish that......"I bet yur gonna make me walk the plank next or somethin," here take this ya skurvy dog, (whip) oww, ooh, uggh.

Thats from an old Cheech and Chong record (yes I said record) that my sister and I used to listen to as kids.....Funny as hell, even today!

Happy B-day Ken!!

[fxdxsteve]

I wondered how long it would take for someone to remember

[charlieharley0057]

The Royal navy v Health and safty gone mad.

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."
Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"
Hardy: "Sorry sir?"
Nelson: "'England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' What gobblede**** is this?"
Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."
Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."

Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it. Full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water, sir"

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in our countries history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please"

Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

Nelson: "What?"

Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral."

Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

Hardy: "Health and Safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled."

Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and Safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There are a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we going to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a big claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on a disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."
Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"
Nelson: "Don't tell me - Health and Safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"
Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."
Nelson: "What about sodomy?"
Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."
Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy."

[voodoochild]

Originally Posted by fxdxsteve

I wondered how long it would take for someone to remember

took me about 5 seconds Steve....thanks for bringing back some funny memories! My sister and I used to be able to recite the whole damn record!

[fxdxsteve]

I like the two russians on the los cochinos album with the dog sh!t

[voodoochild]

Originally Posted by fxdxsteve

I like the two russians on the los cochinos album with the dog sh!t

"taste", huh? "taste!!", "yuk", taste like dog sh*t?? "yea, taste like dog sh*t"

Holy crap were those albums funny!!!!

[fxdxsteve]

taste like dogchit? yah taste like dogchit

good thing we don't step in it lets go eat yah eat

the best head humor ever

[Tomflhrci98]

Ear ache my eye !

Class, Class, SHUTTTT UPP.

It's Dave man.

Come vu humma humma.


I feel like skipping school and smokin a joint right now.

[fxdxsteve]

daves not here
I think its hay madda moysel bonjur parley vou humma humma

[Tomflhrci98]

Good one Steve,

I'm surprised I remember any of it. I was an 8th grade stoner when those "albums" came out. 1974

I burned a lot of brain cells back them.

[fxdxsteve]

I had all their albums back then the only comedy album other than cheech and chong I had was george carlins class clown album it had the seven words you can never say on tv I think it also had al sleet your hippy dippy weather man

[mwelych]

Now that we've gone to Cheech and Chong, remember that Big Bambu album? The one with the huge rolling paper? Well I put a 1/4 lb in mine!!!

[fxdxsteve]

lets make a dope deal how many joints in a lid
2 I roll big joints
judges say they roll big joints too
you win 50 kiis