| This Sucks
Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She
then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft Wayne, Indiana,
who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last
week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my
dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my
office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to
keep warm is this. We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out
of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps
it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to
the air hose. Now this sounds like a pretty good plan, and I've
used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get
to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it
down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started
to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled
the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony
I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked
up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I
aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression
stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface
to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
surface I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed
out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down
his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I LOVE MY JOB, I LOVE MY JOB,
I LOVE MY JOB.
__________________ chopper:"Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale, and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled or hanged."
~ President Abraham Lincoln
Live your life in such a way the the moment your feet touch the floor in the morning the Devil says ( OH SHI$ HE"S AWAKE )
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