Application for permission to date

MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage and current medical report from your doctor. Please be prepared to submit additional information (like psychological profile and polygraph test) as required.


-------------------------------------------------------



Name:___________________________

Date of Birth:______________________

Height:____________ Weight:____________

I.Q.___________ GPA:_________

Social Security Number:___________________

Driver's License #:____________

Boy Scout Rank:___________________________________________________

Home Address:____________________________

City:____________________

State:____________________________

Zip Code:_______________________

How far can you run: 40 yards?_______________

2 miles?___________________

#8 Do you own a (A)Van?____ (B)Truck with oversized tires?_____ (C)Waterbed?_____

Do you have an earing, nose ring or belly button ring?__________ Tatoo?_________

NOTE: If you answered YES to any part of questions #8, discontinue the application process and leave the premises!

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?__________________________
_________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?__
_________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?__________________
_________________________________________________________________

Church you Attend:___________________

How often do you attend?____________

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and minister?_________

Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential.
(That means I won't tell anyone, ever)

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is the__________.

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is___________________________.

A Women's place is in the _________________________.

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is__________________.

In the unfortunate event of my untimely death, I would like______________to be contacted.

My greatest fear is__________________________________________.

When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her___________________.

NOTE: If the answer to the last question begins with a "B", discontinue the application process and leave the premises.

Keep your head low; running in a serpentine fashion is advised.

What do you want to be "IF" you grow up?____________________________

Have you ever been fingerprinted?______

Had a DNA sample taken and recorded?_________

Your dentist is__________________

Emergency phone #_________________________


I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE,
ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND/OR HOT POKERS.


Signature________________________



Thank you for your interest. Please allow 5-7 years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

Please do not try to call or write.
(It could cause disqualification and injury to your body.)