Employee Notice for Old People

Employee Notice for Old People

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).


Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program ( Special Help After Forced Termination ).


Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program ( System Covering Retired-Early Workers ).


A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.


Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS ( Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse ) or HERPES ( Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance ).


Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.


Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much **** ( Special High Intensity Training ) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of **** they give our citizens.


Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the **** you can handle.


Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives ( E.V.I.L .)


PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

It ain't any better in The Great White North either fellas, only difference is our leader is a Nazi....

LOL...Sad but true...How about we stop giving $$ to those foreign countries?That would save a lot of $$...

Good one, Cowboy.

I wouldn't call "O" a communist. See, a communist has a guaranteed life as long as he works. He will always make the same amount of money no matter how hard or how little he works. He can screw off all day until the boss comes around, then he has to look like he's working hard.

Wait a minute! Obama IS a commie!

And we've all been R.A.P.E.D., S.C.R.E.W.E.D., Glued. and tatood!