Joke

CLUCK TWICE

Tom did like he always did, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and
falling to sleep. Suddenly he woke up with an elderly man dressed in
a white robe, standing in front of his bed. "What are you
doing in my bedroom? ...... and who are you?" he asked.

"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and
you are in heaven."

"WHAT!!? Are you saying, I'm dead? I don't want to die .....
I'm too young." said Tom. "If I'm dead, I want you to send me back
immediately."

"It's not that easy," pondered St. Peter, "you can only return as a
dog or a hen. You can choose on your own."

Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog
is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life.
Running around with a rooster can't be that bad. "I want to return as
a hen." Tom replied.

In the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really
nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow
........ then along came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen on
the farm." he said. "How do you like it?"

"Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing
up."

"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on.
Have you never laid an egg before?? Just cluck twice, and then you
push all you can."

Tom clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then
'Plop' and an egg was on the ground.

"Wow," Tom said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again and
squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the
ground.

The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout, "Tom, for
Pete's sake!!! Wake up ... you're crapping' all over the bed!"

That's bad man... :gah: