Jokes

A horse story..

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

"Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy."

"Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home."

"That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way thatone rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I considerthat animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care ofthat right away!"

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.

"Well, dear, what exactly did he say?" asked the husband.

"He said the reflector is broken." replied the Amish lady.

"I can fix that in two minutes. What else?" asked the husband.

The wife replied, "I'm not sure, Jacob . . . Something about the emergency brake."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ORAL SEX

A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it.
His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe do it several times a day.

His grandfather continued to tell the young fellow that later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so.
Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month.
When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year - maybe on your anniversary.
The young fellow then asked his grandfather,
"Well how about you and Grandma now?"
His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now."
"What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked.
"Well," Grandpa said, "She goes to bed into her bedroom, and I go to into my bedroom.
And she yells, 'F*** You!" And I holler back, "F*** You too'."