Little Old Lady in Court

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Old Lady:
I am 94 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm
spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died
some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Old Lady:
He began to rub all over of my body.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.
I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down
and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now! '

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"

And that's when I shot him, the little bastard

Is Sex Work?




A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his

Staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel

decided to pose a question to all assembled.



He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.



He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"



A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.



A Captain said it was 50-50%.



A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.



There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?



Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% Pleasure."



The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?



"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me

doing it for them."



The room fell silent..





God Bless the enlisted man

:roflmao::roflmao: