Red Skelton's recipe for a perfect Marriage

Red Skelton's recipe for a perfect Marriage

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays and I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Kentucky and mine is in California.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps coming back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, an electric toaster and an electric bread maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down." So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "It's in the lake."
8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days, then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "NO, jump in."
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was ALWAYS.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months; I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault, though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust

Brings back memories of watching him on the tv, always made us laugh :roflmao:

Yep, he was one of the best,no profanity or vulgarity, unlike today's so called comedians.

Thanks, CB! Red was always one of my favorite comedians. His humor was lean, clean, and never mean.

I was waiting for your WiseAssh to spout off!!! :roflmao::roflmao::rant:

Red Skelton basically did skit comedy much like Benny Hill

I remember Red Skeleton when I was about 6 yrs old. He use to be on channel 2 and my great aunt use to buy his movies.

never said that his comedy was the same as Benny, but Benny did a lot of skits. So did Red.....

Red was a lot better.
Red was a original, if you missed Red Skelton you missed one of if not the greatest.

Johnny I was watchin Red in the 50's dude. He was a lot younger then too.