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Smart ASS Ansers

Discussion in 'Pull up a chair and sit for a spell' started by FLHTbiker, Feb 3, 2011.

  1. FLHTbiker

    FLHTbiker Moderator Staff Member

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    We need some humor here tonight::D

    SMART ASS ANSWER #5



    It was mealtime during an airline flight.

    'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front..

    'What are my choices?' John asked.

    'Yes or no,' she replied.





    SMART ASS ANSWER #4



    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

    Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'



    SMART ASS ANSWER #3



    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

    The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'





    SMART ASS ANSWER #2



    The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.

    The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'

    When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.





    SMART ASS ANSWER #1



    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.

    Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'

    The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'





    A BONUS EXTRA

    A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
    FLHTbiker, Feb 3, 2011
    #1
  3. cowboy

    cowboy Moderator Staff Member

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    :roflmao::roflmao: good eye sight:eek:
    cowboy, Feb 3, 2011
    #2
  4. chucktx

    chucktx Moderator Staff Member

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    :roflmao:
    chucktx, Feb 4, 2011
    #3
  5. FLHTbiker

    FLHTbiker Moderator Staff Member

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    Boy did I catch it this morning, wife stepped on the scale and I looked down :rolleyes: wrong thing to do. :D
    FLHTbiker, Feb 4, 2011
    #4
  6. chucktx

    chucktx Moderator Staff Member

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    NEVER....EVER....look down at the scales.....hell i dont even go in there while she is doing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am just happy your here to post!!!!!
    chucktx, Feb 4, 2011
    #5
  7. FLHTbiker

    FLHTbiker Moderator Staff Member

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    I told her please don't yell I understand :rolleyes: Course didn't help when I said 20 POUNDS:roflmao: Never again and yea I guess I'm lucky to still be walking. :D
    FLHTbiker, Feb 4, 2011
    #6
  8. Tomflhrci98

    Tomflhrci98 Active Member

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    Yeah that last one should have come with the disclaimer "Please don't try this at home" :D
    Tomflhrci98, Feb 4, 2011
    #7
  9. JohnnyBiker

    JohnnyBiker Well-Known Member

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    :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
    JohnnyBiker, Feb 4, 2011
    #8
  10. sarge7

    sarge7 New Member

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    It don't help when ya put yer foot on the scale from behind then start laughing - My shoulder is still hurtin from that trick.:roflmao:
    sarge7, Feb 4, 2011
    #9
  11. FLHTbiker

    FLHTbiker Moderator Staff Member

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    :roflmao: If I had thought of that I would have done it :roflmao: and then run. :D
    FLHTbiker, Feb 4, 2011
    #10
  12. chucktx

    chucktx Moderator Staff Member

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    now that is dangerous:roflmao:
    chucktx, Feb 5, 2011
    #11
  13. cowboy

    cowboy Moderator Staff Member

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    Man you guys live in the edge :D I don't even have a scale in the house ,just told her don't worry honey I'll love you no matter what size you get , Now I did that over the phone , when I was back in Alb NM & she was here in TX :D
    cowboy, Feb 5, 2011
    #12

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