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Something funny for you all

Discussion in 'Pull up a chair and sit for a spell' started by usahellas, Jan 20, 2005.

  1. usahellas

    usahellas New Member

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    Location:
    Lawrenceville, Georgia
    Now without any entention to offend anyone here I would like to post something my brother sent me. I personlly LMAO on this on.

    So anyway Explicit language but if you are ex-military you might not even notice.



    > Subject: R. Lee Ermey selected as White House Press Spokesman
    >
    > R. Lee Ermey, for the few of you that missed it, was the host of The
    > History Channel's Mail Call and played the D.I. in the movie Full
    > Metal Jacket. Ermey is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very
    > plain speaker as you will soon read. So, for your entertainment, here
    > is Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey at his first press
    > conference as White House spokesman.
    >
    > The main topic of discussion is the Marine in Iraq who shot the Iraq
    > insurgent to death. We pick up as the reporter asks about how this
    > potential war crime will affect our image in the
    > world:
    >
    > Ermey: "What kind of a pansy-assed question is that?"
    >
    > Reporter: "Well I think...."
    >
    > Ermey: "THINK, nancy boy? Get this through that septic tank on top of
    > your shoulders moron, I DON'T GIVE A F*CK WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU
    > UNDERSTAND ME??? THAT MARINE SHOT AN ENEMY COMBATANT SH*THEAD, SO GET
    > YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN
    > PERSONAL PIN CUSHION!"
    >
    > "Next question. You in the blue suit."
    >
    > Reporter 2: "Don't you think that the world's opinion of our
    > operations is important?"
    >
    > Ermey: "Oh sure! You don't know the times I have cried myself to sleep
    > worrying about what some g*d****ed French pansy thinks! Oh the days I
    > have had to weep because some sh*t eating terrorist f*cker might be
    > mad at us because we went into whatever god-forsaken hole in the sh*t
    > that he lives in and killed him. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBASS
    > QUESTION IS THAT YOU PETER PUFFING JACKASS?? WE ARE THE MOTHER F*CKING
    > USA, AND WHEN YOU ATTACK US WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND
    > BLOW YOUR STINKING CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL
    > BE ABLE TO BURY YOUR SORRY ASS IN A THIMBLE!"
    >
    > "I know what you are thinking. You are probably afraid, thinking that
    > I have such an 'extreme' attitude and that I need to be more
    > 'sensitive'
    > to other people's feelings. WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU POLE
    > SMOKING PANSY! I DON'T GIVE 2 SH*TS WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS!
    > THIS IS A ****ED WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT YOU SHOULD GO HOME
    > AND SUCK ON MAMMA'S TIT!! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT??
    > NOW GET THE F*CK
    > OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE GO CRAZY AND BEAT THE LIVING SH*T OUT OF
    > YOU!"
    >
    > "Next question, you with the ugly assed tie. Look at that thing. It is
    > hideous."
    >
    > Reporter 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by..."
    >
    > Ermey: "FREEDOM?? WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE
    > SWEATED MY ASS OFF IN JUNGLES BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION!!
    > WHAT IN THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SH*T SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN
    > WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PUT YOUR ASS ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET
    > YOU HAVE THE UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY MORNING
    > QUARTERBACK THE ACTIONS OF A MARINE WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND HIS
    > UNIT FROM ATTACK BY SOM! E MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!!! YOU WANNA
    > KNOW WHAT I AM CONCERNED ABOUT NUMBNUTS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH
    > OF GRABASSTIC, DISORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING
    > THEIR BEST TO PORTRAY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM
    > CONCERNEDABOUT CHICKEN SH*T PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH
    > TERRORISTS AND THEN WHINE ABOUT THEIR PISS ANT "FREEDOMS!"
    >
    > Reporter 3: "I..."
    >
    > Ermey: "Did you have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning
    > numbnuts? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRYHOLE
    > IN THAT SH*TPILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR THE REST OF
    > YOU PANSY-ASSED MORONS! NOW GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I
    > SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY
    > SHOELACES!"
    >
    > Semper Fi
    >
    >
    >
  2. shopguy

    shopguy New Member

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    I Thought that was outstanding!!
    HOOAH!
  3. wmiconi

    wmiconi New Member

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    Richmond, VA
    God Bless America

    God Bless America, that was great!!!
  4. RoadKing

    RoadKing New Member

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    Location:
    McKinney, Texas
    I love it!!!
  5. Hal Smith

    Hal Smith New Member

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    Location:
    SACRAMENTO,CA
    THAT WAS GREAT, GOD BLESS AMERICA.............................. :cool:

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