Splinters in her crotch

A woman from Los Angeles , who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville , WA.
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist,a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.
The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
Hesmiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a "recreational area" so close to a "waste treatment facility." I'm sorry, but due to Obama-Care they turned you down!"

That came from my sister in N.C.

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new
virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called "Gonorrhea
Lectim." It 's pronounced "Gonna re-elect em" and it is a terrible
obamanation.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior
involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted
it in 2008...

But now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-3
years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.
It's sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just
coming on the market called Votemout. You take the first dose now and
the second dose in Nov. 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior
again; otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out
all life as we know it.

You may want to pass this important message on to all those bright
folks you really care about.

HRK, that is as funny as my original post. :roflmao: