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We need jokes...

Discussion in 'Pull up a chair and sit for a spell' started by marc 55, Sep 11, 2012.

  1. marc 55

    marc 55 Well-Known Member

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    Never Piss Off A Texas Woman

    A West Texas cowboy's wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury and cutting calves, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed out back of the barn. She put his tally-whacker in a vice, and then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

    Next she picked up an old carpenters saw. The banged up Cowboy was terrified and hollered , Stop! Stop! You're not cut it off with thet rusty damn saw are you?

    The wife, with a gleam of reveng in her eye, put the saw in her husbands hand and said, Nope. I'm gona set this old shed on fire, and go to town for a cold beer. You do whatever you want!!!
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?

    It is called the anal optic nerve.

    It is responsible for giving people a ****ty outlook on life.

    If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass, and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
    marc 55, Sep 11, 2012
    #1
  3. cowboy

    cowboy Moderator Staff Member

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    :eek: :roflmao:
    cowboy, Sep 11, 2012
    #2
  4. marc 55

    marc 55 Well-Known Member

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    LOL...Forgot your from Texas...Consider that a warning should you have a wife or significant other and you ever think of an x-tra something on the side...
    marc 55, Sep 12, 2012
    #3
  5. cowboy

    cowboy Moderator Staff Member

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    you just dont take a snack into the resterant :eek: I've ben lucky have the same wife since 1975 , she's all the snacks & main cource I need
    cowboy, Sep 12, 2012
    #4
  6. FLHTbiker

    FLHTbiker Moderator Staff Member

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    Do not drink coffee before reading this!
    *
    Home schooling does have its merits
    I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked
    her, "What day is tomorrow?"; She said "It's President's Day!"

    She is a smart kid. I asked "What does President's Day mean?"
    I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln .... etc.

    She replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of
    the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have 4 more years of Bull sheet,"

    You know, It hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose!
    FLHTbiker, Sep 12, 2012
    #5
  7. cowboy

    cowboy Moderator Staff Member

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    Lmao
    cowboy, Sep 13, 2012
    #6
  8. MountainCruiser

    MountainCruiser Well-Known Member

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    lmao +1 :d
    MountainCruiser, Sep 14, 2012
    #7
  9. MountainCruiser

    MountainCruiser Well-Known Member

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    For me, since 1978, just shows there are some patient women!! ;)
    MountainCruiser, Sep 14, 2012
    #8
  10. cowboy

    cowboy Moderator Staff Member

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    YEP 1+ for that one
    cowboy, Sep 14, 2012
    #9

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