Jokes

:roflmao: You got that right!!!!:roflmao:

liked that

I'll take age ,treachery and deceit over youth and enthusiasm any day.:devil:

Two good ol' boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around
talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off of work at
their local Nissan plant.

After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even."

:roflmao:

More good ol'boys

A s every Southerner knows, come spring it will be time to get ready for that all-important cooking technique of the south --- outdoor grilling!
I have just found out there are many stores (not just in the South) where you can get a FREE Bar-B-Q grill!
In these tough times free useful items are very welcome.
You can get a free BBQ grill from any of the following stores:

A&P
Albertsons
Costco
Dan's
Food Lion
Fry's
Home Depot
Big Lots
Brookshire's
Lowes
Publix
Safeway
Sam's Club
Tesco
Target
Vons
Trader Joe's
Wal-Mart
Winn-Dixie



I especially like the higher rack -- which can be used for keeping things warm!
Just make sure to get a metal one... the plastic ones don't do so well.
Ya'll enjoy now!

Now I know who stole my grill.....

The Lone Ranger's
Last Request


TheLone Ranger was ambushed and captured
by an enemy Indian War Party.


The Indian Chief proclaims,


"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ...



"In honor of the Harvest Festival,

YOU will be executed in three days."


"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"

"What is your FIRST request ???'

The Lone Ranger responds,

"I'd like to speak to my horse."



The Chief nods and Silver is brought

before the Lone Ranger who whispers in

Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with

a beautiful blonde woman on his back.

As the Indian Chief watches,

the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent

and spends the night.


The next morning the Indian Chief admits

he's impressed.
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",

"But I will still kill you in two days."

"What is your SECOND request ???"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak

to his horse.

Silver is brought to

him,

and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

As before, Silver takes off and disappears

over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise,

Silver again returns, this time with a

voluptuous brunette, more attractive

than the blonde.



She enters the Lone Rangers tent

and spends the night.


The following morning the Indian Chief

is again impressed.

"You are indeed a man of many talents,"

"But I will still kill you tomorrow."

"What is your LAST request ???"



The Lone Ranger responds,

"I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone.."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees,

and Silver is brought to

the

Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone,

the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,

Looks him square in the eye and says,

Listen Very Carefully !!!!

FOR... THE... LAST... TIME...


I SAID ....

"BRING POSSE"

A biker is riding along a country lane, when a sparrow flies up in front of him. The biker can't do anything and hits the sparrow. As he looks in his rear view mirror, he sees the sparrow lying in the road. Being the kind of guy he is, he stops, picks up the sparrow and takes it home and puts it in a cage, still in a coma. When the sparrow wakes up the following morning, he looks through the bars of the cage and says, "Oh Hell, I must have killed that biker".

PHONE REPAIR
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang..

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by p*ssing and moaning.

Thought you'd like to know.

You know you're a biker if

- Your wife has ever asked you to move the bike so she could see the TV better.
- You own more black T-shirts then underwear.
- Taking your wife on a cruise means a putt down the interstate.
- Sturgis is your dream vacation.
- You ever quit a job to go to Sturgis.
- Your only three piece suit is a leather jacket, leather vest and chaps.
- Your ol' lady can only eat a hot dog if it's suspended from a string above your bike.
- You buy your 3-year old niece a Harley Davidson t-shirt.
- You can identify bugs by taste.
- You think BLACK & ORANGE would make nice house colors.
- You think GOD invented winter just as a good time to get your bike painted.
- One of your children or pets have either "Harley" or "Davidson" in their name.
- Over half the pictures you take have your bike in it.
- You stare longer at the pictures of the bikes in Easyriders than the naked women.
- You don't go a day without wearing something that says "Harley Davidson".
- You get hit by a car, break your leg, then tell the nice police officer, "I'm fine I can ride home".
- You see no use in going to a bar without bikes in front.
- You pile boxes and laundry on your car, but your bike must have 6 feet or clearance in the garage.
- Everytime you hear a vehicle with headers you look for a Harley.
- When you plan a vacation you set up time to visit the bike shops first.
- You have all the tools to work on every Harley ever made, but not any to work on your ol'ladys car.
- It's impossible to see out of your car or trucks rear window because of all the Harley stickers.
- You refer to your bike as if it had a legal first name
- Your Christmas list has no words, just part numbers.
- One area of your house (other then the garage) is decorated in a motorcycle motif.
- Everytime you spend money, you think about what you coulda bought for your bike.
- They celebrate your birthday at the Harley store.
- You think 'Helmet Hair' is a fashion statement.
- Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
- You have at least one ashtray which is actually a motorcycle part.
- You think that the Harley-Davidson plant should be one of the 7-wonders of the world.
- When she says "It's the bike or me!!" you have to think about it really hard.
- You spend more time polishing your bike than caressing your woman
- You have more locks on your bike than you do your house.
- Anyone who doesn't ride is just 'ok'.

25/35 here and did get hit by car(no broken leg) drove home bent bars and all

Do I get a prize.....I think all are true!!