Jokes

Drinking with a Redneck Girl

A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.

When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice!

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'

The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says,

'In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'

Enough with the Cajun jokes




Okay, everyone is always telling Boudreaux and Thibodeaux jokes, implying that Cajun's aren't smart.
But anybody who would build a city 10 feet below sea level, in a hurricane zone, and fill it with Democrats.....is a genius!

yeah well they didn't make da wall highnuff
and most got out.....

thinkin OUTSIDE of the box!!!!!! lol lol

:roflmao:yep think I would stay up all night as well need to keep those rump rangers to them selfs

Barak Obama was out jogging
one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over
the bridge railing and landed in the creek
below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to
him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water.
He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they
wanted.

The first kid said, 'I want to go to
Disneyland'
Barak said, 'No problem, I'll take you
there on my special airplane.

The second kid said,
'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes.
Barak
said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan
sign them!'

The third kid said, ' I want a
motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo
headset!' Barak was a little perplexed by this and said,
'But you don't look like you're handicapped.'

The
kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your
ass from drowning!'

Subject: THE YEAR 1947....VERY IMPORTANT...

Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago,
witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens
aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.

This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the
U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations. However, what
you may NOT know is that, in the month of April 1948, nine months after that
historic day, the following people were born:

Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses?

I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you.

It did for me.

No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens! NOW YOU KNOW!!!

yup, no wonder!!!!!

Oh my god the ex-wife was born that April to, no wonder, now I know the rest of the story. :gah:

well, my birthdate is 4-13-48........:gah::witsend::roflmao:

as long as you didn't come close to New Mexiko...

Donald
Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together

In
A hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.


The first thing Daisy asked was, 'Do you have A condom?'

Donald Frowned and said, 'No.'

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a
Condom, they could not have sex.

'Maybe they sell them at the front desk,' she Suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked
The hotel Clerk if they had Condoms.


'Yes, We do,' the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and Gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, 'Would you like me to put
Them on your bill?

'No, of course not!' Donald quacked,

I'd thuffocate!’