Jokes

In South Los Angeles , a 4 plex was destroyed by a fire.

A Nigerian family of six con artists lived on the first floor,
and all six died in the fire.

An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats,
all illegally in the country from Kenya ,
lived on the second floor, and
they too, all perished in the fire.

Six L.A. , Hispanic, Gang Banger, ex-cons,
lived on the 3rd floor and they too, died.

A lone, white couple lived on the top floor.
The couple survived the fire.

Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious.
They flew into L.A. and met with the fire chief, on camera.
They loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Black Muslimss
and Hispanics all died in the fire and only the white couple
lived..?

The fire chief simply said, "They were at work."

BABABAZZZZING:roflmao::roflmao:

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

So I guess we need to start making double billed caps? Where did we go wrong with this generation?

"Sure Wish Somebody Would Invent Something To Keep The Sun Out Of My Eyes."



You Can't Fix Stupid

Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back To the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."

Re: Jokes, new medical information

NEW MEDICAL INFORMATION !!!!!!!!!


Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

:roflmao:

What do you do if your riding a horse with a giraffe beside you and a lion chasing you?


Get your drunk ass off the carousel!!!!

I hate my job day

When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]


Try this out:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy
and go to the thermometer section and
purchase a rectal thermometer made
by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors,
draw the curtains and disconnect the phone
so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.
Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement:



"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at
Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!

Re: I hate my job day

Guess I need to go buy one!!! lol

This is incredibly un-politically correct. I LOVE IT!




Two Mexicans are on a bike along IH 35 about 15 miles outside of San Antonio, Tx. The bike's tires go flat, and they start hitching a lift back into town.
A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help, and the Mexicans ask him for a ride. He tells them he has no room in the trailer as he is carrying eggs.
The Mexicans put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit into the back with their bike, will he take them back into town, and he agrees.
They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back, and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. By this time, he is really late and so puts the hammer down.
Sure enough, 'Old Smokey' pulls him over for speeding.
The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which the driver jokingly replies, "Mexican eggs..."
The Cop obviously doesn't believe this; so he wants to take a look in the trailer. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.! He gets on his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible, plus the Swat Team. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers.

"I've got a tractor-trailer stopped with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it... two have hatched and they've managed to steal a bike already. I need HELP !"