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Jokes

Discussion in 'Pull up a chair and sit for a spell' started by chucktx, Aug 7, 2007.

Page 59 of 61
  1. FLHTbiker

    FLHTbiker Moderator Staff Member

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    image.jpg
    FLHTbiker, Jul 18, 2015
    #1161
  3. badinfluence63

    badinfluence63 Well-Known Member

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    My wife says to me the other night...

    "How come we don't make love like they do in the movies?"

    So I bent her over the table, slapped her on each ass cheek
    a dozen times, rammed it in, grabbed her by the hair and
    yanked her neck back so she'd be forced to watch me
    jackhammer her from behind, then flipped her over and came
    on her face....

    She was pissed ...Turns out we don't watch the same movies.
    badinfluence63, Jul 25, 2015
    #1162
    marc 55 likes this.
  4. marc 55

    marc 55 Well-Known Member

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    LOL...
    marc 55, Jul 26, 2015
    #1163
  5. Fatboy128

    Fatboy128 Well-Known Member

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    Couldn't pass this photo up!
    LOL
    [​IMG]


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Fatboy128, Jul 27, 2015
    #1164
  6. marc 55

    marc 55 Well-Known Member

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    Because it isn't real beer...
    marc 55, Jul 27, 2015
    #1165
  7. Fatboy128

    Fatboy128 Well-Known Member

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    Patriot logo on the can. "...flat". Superbowl Deflated balls, get it now?


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    Fatboy128, Jul 28, 2015
    #1166
  8. badinfluence63

    badinfluence63 Well-Known Member

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    The super bowl of beer!
    badinfluence63, Jul 28, 2015
    #1167
  9. hotroadking

    hotroadking Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Youse guys widt your yahkee huemer, If you gotta
    explain it den I don't git tellin it, bada bing.... :joyful:
    hotroadking, Jul 28, 2015
    #1168
  10. Fatboy128

    Fatboy128 Well-Known Member

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    Had to explain fer da joisee goiy


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    Fatboy128, Jul 28, 2015
    #1169
  11. hotroadking

    hotroadking Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Dat makes sense


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    hotroadking, Jul 28, 2015
    #1170
  12. marc 55

    marc 55 Well-Known Member

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    I got it...I just have absolutely no use for light beer and take a shot when ever I can...Has no taste...Tried an Amstel a few years ago...That tasted like shit too...I will stick with real beer....
    marc 55, Jul 28, 2015
    #1171
    badinfluence63 likes this.
  13. badinfluence63

    badinfluence63 Well-Known Member

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    :cool::p:p
    badinfluence63, Jul 28, 2015
    #1172
  14. Fatboy128

    Fatboy128 Well-Known Member

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    I was just bustin em.. I'm with ya on the light beer


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    Fatboy128, Jul 29, 2015
    #1173
  15. Fatboy128

    Fatboy128 Well-Known Member

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    I was out all night drinking with the boys. When I got home this morning my wife left me a message. She wants me to eat more fruit.
    [​IMG]


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    Fatboy128, Jul 30, 2015
    #1174
  16. marc 55

    marc 55 Well-Known Member

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    LOL...
    marc 55, Jul 30, 2015
    #1175
  17. badinfluence63

    badinfluence63 Well-Known Member

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    A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00

    His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!

    The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"

    Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

    The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about"

    The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

    The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

    Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.


    The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

    The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
    badinfluence63, Jul 31, 2015
    #1176
  18. Fatboy128

    Fatboy128 Well-Known Member

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    Ha! Oldie but goodie!


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    Fatboy128, Jul 31, 2015
    #1177
  19. badinfluence63

    badinfluence63 Well-Known Member

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    So, I was walking through Chicago and I saw that there was a "Muslim Book Store."
    I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore, so I went in.
    As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me.
    I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?"
    The clerk said, "**** off, get out and stay out!"
    I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
    __________________
    badinfluence63, Aug 18, 2015
    #1178
    FLHTbiker likes this.
  20. hotroadking

    hotroadking Super Moderator Staff Member

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    A women is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in...

    Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. "Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!"

    The wife, startled at her husband's violent reaction, dashes to the fridge to get some butter.

    "You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!"

    The wife, concerned by the status of her husband's mental state, forgets about the butter and goes running to the eggs.

    "WE NEED BUTTER! Are you CRAZY??? Where are we going to get the butter? They're going to stick! HURRY!"

    The wife runs to the fri-

    "CAREFUL about the eggs! CAREFUL. You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them quickly! Oh not that quickly, don't you know how to cook? Are you insane? Turn the DAMN EGGS!"

    At this point, the wife starts crying, since she has no idea what to do.

    She gasps "What is WRONG with you? I know how to cook eggs."

    The husband simply smiles, remarks "I just wanted to show you what it feels like while I'm driving with you in the car", and leaves.
    hotroadking, Aug 31, 2015
    #1179
  21. FLHTbiker

    FLHTbiker Moderator Staff Member

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    This is for you Fatboy

    image.jpg
    FLHTbiker, Aug 31, 2015
    #1180
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