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Employee Notice for Old People

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).


Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program ( Special Help After Forced Termination ).


Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program ( System Covering Retired-Early Workers ).


A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.


Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS ( Additional...

Heading to work yesterday morning,it appeared the engine light stayed on a little longer than it should...Got to work, shut bike off,then turned ignition on again...sure nuff, engine light comes on,goes out then comes back on again for a few seconds...indicating a historic code...
Going for lunch I was leaving a stop sign turning right, bike quits/stalls...just what a guy needs with a messed up back,bike leaning to the right for a 90 degree turn and it stalls....fired right back up...got to restaurant,it's idling fine but I notice gas gauge dropping down to empty

No previous issues,except a few weeks ago at a stop light it stalled on me and had a low idle...Breathers are routed to atmosphere so I didn't think a dirty IAC would be the problem...
Found on...

I am looking for the manufacturer of this push rod kit, DS 193-816, used in a 99 twinkie. This is the number on a repair order when the engine was upgraded to 95CU.
Thanks

10 Finkers

Ole vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.

He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Okie dokie, let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do."

Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."

"Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he said. "Lordy- it's 2013 and Ive's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible surgery techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?"
Ole says........."How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?"

A Southern couple in their mid-sixties had finally learned, after a full year, how to send and receive texts on their expensive cell phones.

One day while out shopping, the wife and a friend stopped for coffee.
Being a genuine romantic at heart, the wife decided she'd send her husband
a text while she was out and about. She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you….

The husband, being a real no-nonsense-sort-of-guy, texted back:

“I'm on the toilet ... please advise…”